


In the Shadows, In the Light (One of Many Faces Remix)

by Penndragon27



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-05
Updated: 2019-07-05
Packaged: 2020-04-05 21:47:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19049080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Penndragon27/pseuds/Penndragon27
Summary: Freya has watched Merlin for so long... she just wants him to see her too





	In the Shadows, In the Light (One of Many Faces Remix)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [LavenderJane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderJane/gifts).
  * Inspired by [One of Many Faces](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15948794) by [LavenderJane](https://archiveofourown.org/users/LavenderJane/pseuds/LavenderJane). 



> Here you go Gabby! Your writing is always so poetic and beautiful and I'm hoping I did a good job of capturing the same feeling with this remix. Thanks for writing such an amazing and inspirational fic and happy reading!
> 
>  
> 
> Thank you Peach for all your help!

Freya knew she wasn’t happy, but it felt like she was. It was almost worrying how calm she felt, which didn’t make any sense at all. If she closed her eyes she could go back to the lake, in the arms of her love. Safe.

 

But Merlin was gone, so she couldn’t be truly happy. It was probably a trick from wherever she was. This in between place, with its warm sunlight and cool water, its dark shadows and bright sky. Where she was by herself, but not alone. Not with the memories haunting her, the invisible eyes watching her every move.

 

She wasn’t happy. Maybe content, if she really tried to name it. Maybe at peace. None of those words were right. Without Merlin, she would always be sad. Always missing something important.

 

It helped when she checked on him. It also hurt.

 

She had promised to return the favour, to save him, and yet she could only watch as he was hurt, unable to do anything but weep bitter tears. She wondered if the lake had become saltwater, after all this time.

 

Heart aching, she looked for him. She hoped to find him happy and laughing, despite knowing it would be dashed. She rarely saw him happy.

 

He appeared before her, and he was in pain. His hands were over his ears, his eyes squeezed shut, and he was yelling at imaginary figures.

 

She regretted choosing to be there, choosing to watch him suffer, and yet she couldn’t look away. She beat her fists against the monster, her voice joining Merlin in yelling for it to stop. But of all the voices echoing in Merlin’s head, hers was not one of them.

 

Not her real voice, at least.

 

“It’s not me,” she pleaded to deaf ears. “ _ It’s not me!” _

 

She swung a fist at the creature wearing her face, hating when it just passed through. She hated when it called Merlin- her protector, her love- a monster. As if he was anything like that vile demon.

 

“Stop it,” she shouted at it. “I’ll kill you, I swear I will!”

 

Then she didn’t have to, because Merlin did it first. He fell to his knees and she rested a hand on his shoulder. It passed through him.

 

* * *

 

She finally withdrew from the scene, trusting the knights to look after her Merlin. She was still not happy, how could she be? Would she ever be?

 

Then there was a prickle on the back of her neck. Someone was here, at her shores. Someone she knew.

 

Merlin was there. He was being held up by the knights because his knees were so weak, but he was here. And, if she wanted to, he could see her. Oh, how she wanted to.

 

When their eyes met, tears fell. She fell, limbs failing. Then Merlin fell and they were both on their knees, on the ground, arms around each other, trying to be as close as they possibly could.

 

She hushed him, soothed him, despite her own wracking sobs. He needed to know it wasn’t his fault, that he was so brave, so special, so loved. He needed to know he was never alone.

 

They kissed, salty and bitter, yet oh so sweet. She never wanted to pull away, even though she would have to, eventually.

 

_ I love you,  _ she said and for the first time he could hear her. He could say it back.

 

And for just a moment, before she had to go back to the water, she was really, truly, undeniably happy.

 


End file.
